If you’re looking for a good laugh, buckle up and prepare for hilarious lessons on unexpected friendships and thrilling adventures through this list of Shrek quotes.
Shrek, Princess Fiona, and Donkey are some of the funniest characters ever created. They’re a bunch of misfits, and you might think they won’t get along.
However, you’d be surprised by the bond they’ve built through their adventures. This is precisely what we see in the 2001 Shrek movie.
It’s full of unique, unexpected moments that’ll have you rolling on the floor with a belly full of laughs. Just look at Shrek, a one-of-a-kind kind of knight you’ll never expect to see!
Secondly, who would ever think a donkey would be a perfect companion for an ogre? Princess Fiona is also breaking barriers with how she looks and chooses to be an ogre to be with the one she loves.
Shrek truly is a unique masterpiece you shouldn’t miss out on. Learn more about it and its fantastic characters through the list of Shrek quotes below!
Best Shrek Quotes
1. “What are you doing in my swamp?” – Shrek
2. “No! I’m an ogre! You know, ‘Grab your torch and pitchforks!’ Doesn’t that bother you?” – Shrek
3. “Ogres are like onions. Ogres have layers; onions have layers.” – Shrek
4. “Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” – Lord Farquaad
5. “We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles.” – Donkey
6. Donkey: “Whoa, look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?”
Shrek: “‘That’ would be my home.”
Donkey: “Oh, and it is lovely! You know, you’re really quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.”
7. Donkey: “Really?”
Shrek: “Really, really.”
8. “Donkey, there’s no ‘we,’ no ‘our.’ There’s just me and my swamp! And the first thing I’m gonna do is build a 10-foot wall around my land.” – Shrek
9. “Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres—oh, they’re much worse. They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They’ll shave your liver and squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it’s quite good on toast.” – Shrek
Shrek Quotes That Are Simply Iconic
10. “That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.” – Shrek
11. “The ogre has fallen in love with the princess!” – Lord Farquaad
12. “Donkey, two things, okay? Shut. Up!” – Shrek
13. Donkey: “So where is this fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway?”
Shrek: “Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.”
Donkey: “I was talkin’ about the dragon, Shrek.”
14. “This is the part where you run away.” – Shrek
15. “Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone; we must be getting close.” – Shrek
16. “That must be Lord Farquaad’s castle. Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” – Shrek
17. “It’s on my to-do list. Now come on!” – Shrek
18. Shrek: “Stop singing! Well, it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.”
Donkey: “Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.”
19. “That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkeyfly!” – Donkey
Funny Shrek Quotes
20. Lord Farquaad: “What’s that? It’s hideous!”
Shrek: “Well, that’s not very nice. It’s just a donkey.”
21. “Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn’t colorblind!” – Donkey
22. Princess Fiona: “Where are you going? The exit’s over there!”
Shrek: “Well, I have to save my ass.”
Princess Fiona: “What kind of knight are you?”
Shrek: “One of a kind.”
23. “Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!” – Donkey
24. “Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed, and he signed an eviction notice.” – Little Pig
Shrek Quotes About Life
25. Donkey: “Hey, what’s your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?”
Shrek: “Look, I’m not the one with the problem, okay? It’s the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go, ‘Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!’ They judge me before they even know me—that’s why I’m better off alone.”
26. Shrek: “I’m not blocking!”
Donkey: “Oh, yes, you are!”
Shrek: “Donkey, I’m warning you—.”
Donkey: “Just who are you trying to keep away? Just tell me that, Shrek? Who?”
Shrek: “Everyone! Okay?”
27. Donkey: “Shrek, remember when you said that ogres have layers?”
Shrek: “Oh, aye?”
Donkey: “Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: donkeys don’t have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.”
Shrek Quotes on Love
28. Donkey: “You’re so wrapped up in layers, Onion Boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings!”
Shrek: “Go away!”
Donkey: “See? There you are, doing it again! Just like you did to Fiona! All she ever did was like you, maybe, even love you!”
Shrek: “Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!”
Donkey: “She wasn’t talking about you, okay? She was talking about—uh—somebody else.”
Shrek: “She wasn’t talking about me?”
29. Donkey: “You love this woman, don’t ya?”
Shrek: “Yes.”
Donkey: “Do you wanna hold her?”
Shrek: “Yes!”
Donkey: “Please her?”
Shrek: “Yes!”
Donkey: “Then ya gotta, gotta try a little tenderness! Chicks love that romantic crap!”
30. Princess Fiona: “No, it’s destiny! You must know how it goes! A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love’s first kiss.”
Donkey: “With Shrek? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You think—you think that Shrek is your true love?”
Princess Fiona: “Well, yes! What is so funny?”
Shrek: “Let’s just say I’m not your type, alright?”
31. “I don’t want to rush into a physical relationship. I’m not that emotionally ready for a commitment of this—uh—magnitude!” – Donkey
Short Shrek Quotes
32. “Like that’s ever gonna happen! What a load of—.” – Shrek
33. “Alright, you’re going the right way for a smacked bottom.” – Shrek
34. “I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I’m a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?” – Shrek
Shrek Quotes for Fans of Donkey
35. “Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!” – Donkey
36. “And then, one time, I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.” – Donkey
37. “Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey
More Shrek Quotes for Those Who Loved the Movie
38. “Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love’s first kiss.” – Shrek
39. “I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.” – Pinocchio
40. “Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” – Donkey
What Lessons Have You Uncovered Beneath All the Comedy?
Shrek is undoubtedly a pop culture masterpiece. It’s become a household name thanks to its titular character, Shrek, and his friends, Donkey, Princess Fiona, and more.
Apart from that, even the villains in the story are hilarious! In fact, we’re positive Lord Farquaad’s a favorite of many.
However, beyond the comedy and the humor, the movie also imparts valuable lessons we could all learn from. One of these lessons is the importance of being content with who you truly are, as demonstrated by Princess Fiona.
The movie also teaches us not to judge people based on their appearances. This shone through with Shrek, as he proved to be a kind, trustworthy, and lovable character despite everyone’s misunderstandings due to him being an ogre.
Shrek truly is a movie that’s one for the books! This is also why a whole franchise with multiple movies has come from it.
With that, we hope this collection of Shrek quotes was able to give you insight into the life lessons hidden beyond all the laughs. Make sure you revisit this list whenever you need a pick-me-up!
